I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The best revenge is premature balding
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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