I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
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I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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