Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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