The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
