and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
