i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
