Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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