Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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