You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
