This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize