my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
