please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
