well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
