smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
