tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
