i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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