we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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