ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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