I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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