Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
