Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
