Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
