Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize