We're like a lot better than the average bears
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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