i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
