yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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