he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize