how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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