when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
