Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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