I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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