At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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