I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
