is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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