I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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