Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
