He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
