You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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