I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
