Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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