Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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