I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
