Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
