sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Are we still banned from the library?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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