now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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