I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
