I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
