i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
