how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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