My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize