you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
organizing the empties. That sober.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
