It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
