Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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