New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
