So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize