I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
