Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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